


Meet Cutes Are Overrated

by WiseTheWolf (Cervalces_Scotti)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Awkwardness, Banter, Drama, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Other, Sarcasm, Singing, Supernatural Elements, Weirdness, sleep overs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-01 07:45:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13993725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cervalces_Scotti/pseuds/WiseTheWolf
Summary: Ex. CH. 1 - "An AU where Person A is on a 10 hour flight and wants a nap while Person B has a confusing flirting technique, as well as being a snarky bastard."Summary - All Peridot wanted wants a decent nap while on a 10 hour flight to Crystal Gem University, too bad her seat mate is a fucking nutjob whose determined to be an asshole...an unfairly attractive asshole.Tell me if you want me to write an AU for your ship in the comments! Enjoy~





	1. The Trouble With Flying

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea, let me know if you want to see more of these,"Meet Ugly," AU's instead of the classical,"Meet Cutes."
> 
> P.S. I'll try to keep their personalities as close as I can to cannon but it is likely to not going stay that way
> 
> (Heads up if you're a RWBY fan. I'm working on something called Valance Venture's. Check it out and tell me what you think!)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peridot never had any particularly strong feelings about being on a plane. She used to move around a lot due to her mothers job in her younger years, so any fears or fascinations have long since died down. The annoyances however, were a different story. Yes kid kicking the back of her chair right now, that meant you too little shit. They haven't even taken off yet and she was considering jumping out the window.

It didn't help that the person with dark blue hair in the window seat beside her gave off an air that said,'Speak to me, you die.'

Peridot just sighed, taking out a notebook to write in, not a dairy, she would protest to anyone who referred to it as such. It was a log keeper, a habit she's developed from a young age. It served as something to pass the time and a comfort on this likely long and exhausting flight.

Take off was only a curse in the disguise of a blessing.  
___________________________________________________________

Two hours in, and that kid who was kicking her seat finally stopped, probably asleep, and Peridot thought that maybe she'd get a break, maybe take a nice long nap herself.

Nope.

The person next to her decided it was a good idea to just...randomly snatch her note book and pencil from her lap. Sure, she hadn't been using them, but they were HER THINGS, and just,"What the fuck?!" She exclaimed, glaring at the bastard who dared look nonchalant.

The stranger glanced up, only for a moment and continued on reading it, mumbling,"I need a distraction."

Peridot blinked, appalled at their audacity." Give it, what the hell--" she tried to recover it, but the cursed stranger was easily able to hold it out of her range. She began to rise from her seat but stopped herself, she didn't want to make a scene and forced off the plane. What would her mother think?

So, she sat with a great reluctance, and the stranger gave her some smug smirk like she knew.' Stupid sexy smirk, wait what--' she shook her head to get rid of the random thought.

"I'd fucking punch you in the face if it weren't for the fact we are on a plane." She hissed angrily.

"That's an interesting way to greet a stranger." She retorted coolly, turning a page and whistling lowly,"Wow, you are a huge nerd."

"Says you, who is becoming the bane of my existence."

She rolled her eyes,"Oh I'm so hurt you'd think that of me...also, the description of my appearance on here is off."

Peridot scoffed,"Impossible. My observations are the pinnacle of accuracy."

The stranger had that smirk again reaching out to Peridot's face,"Wha-what are you--?"

She had grasped Peridot's chin to meet eyes with them, very . After a moment, she chuckled,"I'd say my eyes are more Ocean blue then just a plain blue."

Peridot felt herself flush, as she had also taken in other details of their face and her gaze even wondered down, but she gained a semblance of her common human decency before she looked down their very baggy shirt. Peridot pushed them away by their face,"Get away from me! And that is only a difference by a single word in your description! "

They only laughed, leaning back so her back touched the window she sat by,"Your types too easy to mess with. Here ya go Peri."

Peridot snatched her notebook and pencil, scowling at them,"Don't call me that...and how about you tell me your name since you violated my personal privacy to know mine."

She merely blew a raspberry, then said in that irritatingly attractive sing song,"Don't feel like it.~"

Peridot groaned in frustration,"Okay then, I'll just call you Ocean blue until you do tell me."

Ocean blue shrugged,"Works for me Peri-keet."

"Oh stars...how many more hours until the flights over?"

"I'd say about 7 hours Per-bear."

"The question was rhetorical you Clod, and stop with those stupid nicknames."

"Then why did you ask it out loud if no one was supposed to answer it? And I'm gonna have to go with...never."

"Urrrgg!"  
___________________________________________________________

Thankfully, ugh, Ocean blue didn't bother her after that, pulling out a tablet and putting in some ear buds.

She took this time to breath for what felt like the first time. The interactions with that smug jerk were spiritually taxing, even if they were short. She flipped through her recovered log keeper, and much to her annoyance, found several messily scribbled in notes. They had added their own commentary in most of the pages! When?! How?!

Peridot flipped through more quickly, to the most recent one, today's log.

Of course, there was that messy hand writing again,"More ocean blue then just plain blue, nerd," she blushed at that, looking up at them.

She was slumped in her seat, loosely fitting black shirt with the words,'Sarcasm is my defense against your stupid,'exposing one of her shoulders, and unsurprisingly, ripped jeans. It screamed,'Punk!'

Peridot noticed other things, like the slight tan that Ocean blue's skin had, it matched her dark blue hair, which they had obviously dyed, very well, and that unfairly attractive face, seriously! It had to be a crime to be that hot--!

'No,' she immediately stopped that train of thought and turned to the other markings Peridot notice by the bottom of the page.

'Hey stranger, couldn't help but notice your going to Crystal Gems University too from your ID sticking out of your bag when you got on, and since you're absolutely adorable,' Peridot gripped the paper tighter, growling sightly as her blush returned,'how about we grab something to eat together when we land?' - Lapis Lazuli

She couldn't take it anymore, the embarrassment was too much. Peridot furiously turned them opposite direction of this,'Lapis Lazuli.'

It was hard, but finally she was able to sleep, and much to her dismay, her dreams were filled with the color blue.  
___________________________________________________________

A poke to her face made Peridot grunt. Another made her swipe at the hand, hissing.

"Hehe, like an angry kitten..." A disturbingly familiar voice caused her eyes to snap open.

Ocean blue, or Lapis Lazuli, stood above her, and she took note of others shuffling off the plane,"Come on Dotty, we've made it...also, you've got drool on your face."

She scowled, adjusting her glasses and wiping off the drool that was on the left side of her face,"Lazuli...why can't you do anything normally?"

Lapis waved her hand dismissively,"Psh, if I did that, you wouldn't be curious about me."

Peridot rolled her eyes, grabbing her luggage,"You better pay for the food..."

Lapis actually looked surprised,"Wait, seriously?"

"Of course, it's the least you could do..." Peridot grumbled, stomping off the plane.

Lapis let the surprise be replaced by a giddy grin, grabbing her things and catching up with Peridot,"Well, I can get you some high class McDonald's."

"Ooh, fancy."

"I know right?"

Peridot can't say this banter that seemed to flow so easily between them wasn't enjoyable. Maybe this wouldn't turn out too badly...


	2. I Accidentally Summoned A Demon And They're Kinda Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person A: "Wait, that wasn't a cake recipe?"  
> Friend: "Lol no, it says 'Summon your own devil' on the top."  
> Person A: " I THOUGHT IT WAS TALKING ABOUT DEVIL FOOD, LIKE CHOCOLATE OR SOMETHING, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"  
> Friend: "I was bored."
> 
> Or, Amethyst sends an instruction manual to summon a demon instead of a cake recipe, and Ruby is very unlucky with baking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! =3

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ruby has a lot of things she'd never thought she'd say, like, at all. Staring down a...person? As they tried a to gracefully pull themselves out of her oven,"You're not a cake," slipped out faster then she could bite her tongue being one of them.

They glanced up with their single eye--holy shit they are a Cyclops--!

"Sorry to disappoint." Their voice was soft spoken, but rather feminine, and Ruby decided to make the assumption they were a girl. That and they had this blue poofy looking dress and wow they were very pretty. Wait, no, stranger just climbed out of your oven, priorities Ruby!

"Uh, not to be rude but...why are you here?"

She righted herself, patting off any soot that may have still clung to her," You summoned me of course."

"Huh? No I didn't!"

"If you didn't then I wouldn't be here."

"W-well, not on purpose! Just...make yourself comfortable at the table, get a drink even, I need to make a call."

Ruby left the kitchen, throwing off her mitts, and grabbing her phone that she left on the couch while she baked. She dialed a number quickly, looking back to the...demon? Witch? Whatever, and they were still as a stone, waiting as told.

Ruby sighed in relief when she heard a,"Yo Rube cube, what's up?"

But immediately remembered why she called,"What's up?! A mysterious pretty girl just climbed out of my oven!"

"...is that some code that you got laid?"

"No! What the hell was in that cake recipe for it to make random people appear?!"

"Psh, dude it was a demon summoning ingredients list Jasper found on the internet."

"Wait, it wasn't a cake recipe?! I asked for a cake recipe!"

"No, it said ' summon your own devil ' at the top. And to be fair, I was bored."

"I thought it meant Devil's food, like chocolate or something, not GOD DAMN DEMONS!"

"Please don't say God, they don't like it when humans say their name in vain." The one eyed demon called from the kitchen, making Ruby jump a little.

"Oh...uh, sorry God?"

"Okay, clearly you have some things to sort out. Laters, me and Jasper are coming over at 8 still!"

"No, wai--and she's gone..." Ruby sighed, tossing her phone back onto the couch." Ugh, so, I have a demon in my kitchen, great, this is just perfect..." She went back in, finding them sitting just as she saw, and awkwardly took the seat across from them.

"So...what's your name since I have you here?"

"Names are a powerful thing, if I reveal it, I could possibly be killed by you." She stated bluntly.

Ruby gulped, laughing nervously,"Right...well, I'm Ruby, and if you don't mind I have some questions."

"I do not mind any, as long as my boundaries are respected."

"Of course! Sorry, my friend got us both into this mess..."

"It was bound to happen."

"Oh?"

"Future vision."

"Whoa, cool!" 

And that's how it went until Ruby got a knock on her door, pleasant conversion that Ruby found oddly easy to have. She wasn't really social, so engaging in a random talk with a stranger was quite difficult, let alone pleasant. Hell, she only knew Amethyst and Jasper because they were on the same Baseball team she was in. Speaking of them, those two had a lot of explaining to do...  
___________________________________________________________

Okay, she interrogated her friends about what possessed (haha, possessed...demon joke) them to do it. And both Jasper and Amethyst's excuse for this...turned out to be just a case of boredom.

"What the fuck guys?!"

"To be fair, you weren't suspicious about any of the ingredients?" Jasper asked from the couch next to Amethyst while they all played one of the many Call Of Duty games.

"...fair point, but apparently it was a for life type of deal! She's gonna be here until the day I die!"

"Eh, now we know you don't have an excuse for not having girlfriend."

Ruby grit her teeth at that, making sure to pay Amethyst back for that comment with a head shot," Ha! Suck it!"

"Well, I won't as much as you will."

"What does that even--oh you prick!" Ruby punched her friend in the shoulder, but all it did was tip her over while she rolled on the floor, laughing.

"Where is she anyway?"

Ruby shrugged,"I told her she could find a room to get away from you guys when you got here, so that could be anywhere."

"I bet it's your bedroom."

"Fuck off and go home before your parents blow up on you again. I have a mess to clean up..."

"Or one to make--"

"--I SWEAR TO ANY MALEVOLENT BEING, I WILL END YOU BOTH!"

They ran you her door quickly making obscene hand gestures as they went,"See ya at school on Monday!~"

"Yeah, and actually get some ya useless lesbian!~"

Jasper sped them out of her drive way before she could make a proper retort. She slammed the door, about to go to bed, it was 3 am after all, only to be startled by her demon (feels weird to think that, her demon...) standing just inches away.

"Ah!" She screamed, stumbling over her own feet in her attempt to get back. They were extremely fast, catching her by the waist, the demon pulled Ruby to her to keep her from running,"I'm confused, your intentions aren't clear. Most already have a goal in mind when they summon me, but you don't..."

Ruby swallowed dryly from their proximity, and felt the naturally cool temperature of the demons body so close to her own over heating one, too close.

"U-uh I never really wanted to summon you, I just wanted to make a cake..."

"Hm," she hummed, still holding onto Ruby,"My future vision can't seem to pinpoint when I'll figure it out either...so many more possibilities. You are an interesting one indeed." She finally released Ruby, who made some space between them despite the demon not appearing to be bothered by it.

"Is that a good thing?"

For the first time, the demon actually smiled a little,"Yes it is. I think you are the first human I will trust with this information..." She trailed of for a moment.

Ruby waited in anticipation, what sort of thing could a being of possibly infinite knowledge entrust a mere human?

"...my name is Sapphire."

Ruby smiled too, much bigger then Sapphire's, and on an impulse, she hugged the demon. She had always been the physical type,"Thank you for that...Sapphire." The name felt good rolling off her tongue.

Sapphire didn't know how to react, not many were affectionate towards a demon, at least not as innocent as this, but it was a nice change. She also liked the sound of her name when Ruby said it.

Ruby pulled away, grabbing her hand and leading her to the kitchen,"Since I've got you here, do you know how to make cake?"

"No, I can make soup, it's an Underworld dish called ' Pain & Suffering ' the name comes from it's spiciness, good enough to kill."

"Well, let's just stick to chocolate cake for now..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wise One Out!


	3. My Irrational Hate For Musicals Is Your Fault...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No matter what, if your soulmates starts singing a duet or a song with multiple parts you sing it too." AU. Bonus,"Person B is in choir/theatre and won't stop singing Alexander Hamilton Broadway songs while Person A is in World History Class."
> 
> Person A: "I swear to fucking god..."  
> Friend to Person A: "Are they at it again?"  
> Person A: "Yes, they've been singing it all--"
> 
> *Person B somewhere away* : "~ALEXANDER HAMILTON!~"
> 
> Meanwhile...
> 
> Person A: "--morning--~ALEXANDER HAMILTON~--OH GOD DAMN IT!"  
> Friend:...yeah, good luck with that..."
> 
> Amethyst only wanted to get this boring year long class over with as painless as possible, and whoever her soulmate was isn't making it any easier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! =3
> 
> Disclaimer - I don't own anything related to the Alexander Hamilton Broadway

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

It first started in the beginning of the year. One morning, while Ms. Rose was going over several ways Roman society affected today's government and leadership, it happened.

"~Just you wait!~"

Amethyst immediately covered her mouth as the entire class whirled around to see what was with the sudden outburst. Ruby was of course, laughing, and so were some other kids in her class. Others looked at her with a form of pity. Ms. Rose wasn't annoyed or angry with the interruption, as a matter a fact, she came over to Amethyst and put a hand on her shoulder with a huge smile." Congratulations!"

She couldn't find it in herself to be happy that she'd meet her soulmate soon, her only response to Ms. Rose was,"~Alexander Hamilton!~ Oh god damn it!" Before she let her head meet the wooden desk with a thud, groaning.

And Ruby was now laughing so hard she fell out of her chair. Dick.  
___________________________________________________________

It went on like that for weeks, to the point nobody else even looked when she blurted out a line from a song. And it was driving her mad. The only reason she wanted to find them was to stop them from constantly interrupting her life!

After Ruby, and her other friends Peridot, Jasper, and Greg stopped laughing at her predicament ever chance they got, they decided to help her narrow it down. Greg suggested they met at lunch, which was the best option besides after school.

"Alright," Amethyst stood to her full height, slamming her hands on the table,"let's do this."

"Heh, this should be funny."

"Stuff it Cheeto puff, start with what we know! P-Dot, observations!"

"Well, they seem to do it at two specific time frames. 7:25-9 am, the time you have History class. And at the end of the day after school, 2:40-5:30 pm correct?"

"Yeah..."

"I've come to the conclusion they are in Choir, and quite possibly in the schools Theatre group."

Jasper let out a throaty chuckle,"Those guys are pretty stiff, good luck Ame."

Peridot pulled out what appeared to be a copy of the 1st period choir roster and the list of kids in the Theatre,"Ruby and Greg are familiar with most on this list, so they can help with the rest. And, you kept singing things from the Alexander Hamilton Broadway right?"

Amethyst sat down, looking over the list, before returning her gaze to Peridot,"That's the one."

"Then I'm sure you can guess the up coming performance piece they have chosen to present, in the next week actually."

"...fucking hell."

"Don't worry," Greg reassured, patting her on the back,"We can help you find them, no problem."

"Thanks guys, but I'm gonna give you tons of shit for laughing at me when it's your turn to find yours."

"Eh, that's fair."  
___________________________________________________________

The hunt began, Amethyst made extra copies and they all met up after school to watch the Theatre group practice. It was easiest to start with since no one was willing to skip with Amethyst on first period, that and she actually liked Ms. Rose. She was the only one that never yelled at her if she was tardy, even helped her with her work with a greater enthusiasm then other teachers she had.

Any who, the thought of finally catching them made the sudden bouts of singing less annoying. In her excitement, she practically sprinted to each class. This of course earned more teasing from Jasper, but a well placed Yo-Yo to the nose shut her up. 

When the last bell of the day rang, it felt like the perfect harmony. Huh...her thought pattern seems to be changing too...

But whatever, she had already asked her mom if she could stay after for a study group with her friends. This totally counted as a group study.

The auditorium in their school was huge, and they opted to sit in the back in case Amethyst burst into song and interrupted them while they practiced on stage...she's pretty sure she saw Ruby bring a back up gag for extreme measures. Stars knows where she got it...

Back to the situation at hand, so far nothing. Not a single person who sung showed results. Of course she realized several people might have been out sick, which put a damper on her enthusiasm.

It was at least two hours in and most of her friends had to get going. Amethyst told them she was going to stay until they finished at least.

Then out of no where, soon after her friends left, someone busted into the theater, huffing and hunched over, they probably ran. Amethyst recognized her at least, Pearl, there were a whole lot of rumors going around about her. The most popular being about her relationship with Ms. Rose. She didn't like to believe that, but you never know.

"Sorry I'm so late, I was held up by a few teachers needed my assistance and--"

"--Oh don't worry, I understand," Ms. Sardonyx cut in,"you are a busy girl. I consider it an honor you spend your time here, now come on, your just in time for your part."

Pearl nodded shyly, hurrying her way over. Amethyst also liked Ms. Sardonyx, very show and telly, having a taste for flare and loved to show you the newest tricks she's learned no matter what it is and is all around fun to be around. So it's unsurprising she also was the teacher responsible for the Theatre group.

She noticed Pearl seemed to be a favorite to teachers, a given considering all the rumors. Teacher's pet, straight A student, perfectionist, the complete opposite of herself. Even in physical appearance. She was short while Pearl was tall, did only enough to pass while Pearl surpassed everyone, no way would she be her soulmate.

'I guess I'll check tomorrow if some kids were out sick today...or skipping...'

And since she was staying, why not see if the perfectionist could carry a tune as well?

Pearl took a moment to prepare, clearing her throat,"Does it matter where I start?"

"No, I'm just doing a quick check of everyone to see how everything's coming along. Then we can work out the little kinks before the show next week."

"Alright...there is one I'm not quite sure on..."

'Man, I wish I brought some snacks or something--'

"~When he was ten his father split, full of it  
Debt-ridden  
Two years later, see Alex and his mother  
Bed-ridden  
Half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick~"

Amethyst froze, finding herself whispering,"~And Alex got better but his mother went quick.~"

Have you ever had a moment of just, no, like, oh to the hell NO! Yeah, she was having one of those right now. And it fucking hit like a truck. Ow.

"~Moved in with a cousin, the cousin  
Committed suicide  
Left him with nothin' but ruined pride,  
Something new inside  
A voice saying  
"Alex you gotta fend for yourself,"  
He started retreatin' and readin' every  
Treatise on the shelf~"

Amethyst tried, she tried very hard to just not sing back, but, the pull was too strong, she found herself standing on to of her chair in an instant," There would have been nothin' left to do  
For someone less astute  
He woulda been dead or destitute  
Without a cent of restitution  
Started workin', clerkin' for his late  
Mothers landlord  
Tradin' sugar cane and rum and all the  
Things he can't afford  
Scammin' for every book he can get  
His hands on  
Plannin' for the future see him now as n'  
He stands on  
The bow of a ship headed for new land  
In New York you can be a new man!~"

When she was done, Amethyst could tell everyone was looking at her, and she wanted the Earth to just swallow her up. Ms. Sardonyx hand initially been surprised but quickly caught on to what was going on, simply grinning at the occurrence." Well that certainly isn't something you see every day, Amethyst, Pearl, congratulations darlings! Why don't you both go and have a chat with your newly found soulmate?"

"Uh, are you sure, as in right now?" She was tempted to run, very, very far away. Especially with how Pearl was just giving her an expression of unadulterated bewilderment. Better then disgust at any rate...

Ms. Sardonyx gave a laugh,"Oh-ho-ho, of course not! I do believe you and Pearl deserve a bit of a talk anyhow, go on. Pearl, you can bring her to the music room, be back in at least 20 minutes."

She nodded shakily,"O-of course, follow me..."

When they exited, and she no longer felt like she was being watched, Amethyst thought it was best she initiated the conversation before she decided to actually bolt,"So...how's the weather?"

"We're inside."

'Oh that was just so fucking smooth Amethyst...'

"I know, just trying to get to know who I'm gonna be with for the rest of my life..."

"Nice try...sorry, I'm just a little--"

"--in complete shock with a side of denial?"

"Oh yes, defiantly."

Amethyst leaned against the wall, feeling more comfortable to speak since she was getting...a response at least,"I get it, this whole thing is sudden for me too...and I'll have you know you gave me an irradiation hate for musicals."

Pearl seemed confused for a second before her expression changed quickly into embarrassment, her shoulders rose up while she nervously ran a hand through her hair,"I'm so sorry, but I absolutely love to preform so I choose to join any activities I could. I didn't realize what kind of inconvenience it could cause."

Amethyst snorted, covering her mouth as she laughed for a bit,"No, it was a joke, well, mostly. You have to loosen up."

"So I've been told...well, it was nice meeting you, but I must return to practice, upcoming show and all...but I'm sure you knew that."

She clicked her tongue while Pearl went back to open the door,"Do I ever. Alright then, see ya Pearl."

But before she could even fully walk away, a call of,"Wait!" From behind her startled her into stopping, whipping around to see Pearl again, looking rather flustered from her own actions. She composed herself, a blush becoming noticeable on her naturally pale complexion,"Would you, perhaps, like to c-come?"

Amethyst wanted to ease her nervousness, understanding how hard this must have been for her,"Consider me seduced by your stutter, why not?"

Pearl gained a certain spark in her eyes,"Great!--uh, I mean good, very good...I'll get you the tickets as soon as possible. Bye!"

Amethyst watched Pearl run back to the door, swinging it open and rushing inside, thinking,'There she goes...adorkable to a T.'

This would turn out fine. Totally perfect.

Oh fuck, who is she kidding? Something in her gut told her it would be one hell of a ride, and she believed it. After all, she just agreed to go to a musical where her soulmate preforms, and has no idea how to stop herself from singing out loud. Fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wise One Out!


	4. Beginners Guide To The DO NOT's Of Snowboarding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowboarding AU, Person A starring as hot and sarcastic instructor
> 
> Person B starring as distracted and grumpy student
> 
> In which Peridot learns how often you can fall on your face if you don't listen to the instructor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have y'all on the other side of the screen I've never snow boarded in my life, so this will be interesting...
> 
> I'd like to give Florencia2796 credit for the idea =w=
> 
> Also, phew, I have been swamped by life, but I am alive!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Winter break, a wonderful time of the year. An excuse to stay in all day on her computer and eat junk food until she passed out at stars knows what hour.

At least it would be, if she hadn't agreed to spend it in some ski resort with her friends. Curse Steven and his puppy dog pout. Curse her weakness for cute things.

So here she was, packed to the brim with all of her warmest sweaters, and any of her beloved technology she could fit in afterwards (A laptop, D.S, some games to go with it, tablet, and phone to be exact, including all of their chargers). Sure, it made her suit case look ready to pop, but if she can't stay in her home, she'll bring her home with her!

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, a text from Steven.

(The Steven): You ready to have a good time =3  
(Peridot): If I suffer, know I will make you suffer, with 1000 % interest  
(The Steven): D=  
(The Steven): Psh, it's gonna be great, we'll be there to get you soon!  
Peridot: It better be great e.e, see you soon

Peridot stuffed her phone back into her jacket pocket, letting herself flop down by her case,"At least the resort has WiFi..."  
___________________________________________________________

The entire ride was either her ignoring everyone on her game or Steven trying to convince her everything would turn out fun in the end. Maybe she should give him benefit of the doubt, Steven is known for his outlandish optimistic view point, and it usually is right. Peridot is somewhat an optimist, but life has generally worn down her positive outlook on bad situations.

At least when you're a pessimist, you're disappointed or pleasantly surprised. Hm, an optimistic look on pessimism, one heck of a paradox she just made.

"Peridot, we're here!" Steven's squeal made her jump a little, but when she saw why, she practically threw herself right onto the window.

"H-how is this possible?! Someone explain!" Okay, now THAT was one hell of an impossibility!

It was almost as if someone just plopped a random mountain with snow in the middle of no where. Why?! How?!

Garnet had an explanation,"It was formed by a queen who ran away and created her own kingdom where she could live alone."

"...was that a Frozen reference?"

"You wanted an explanation, but you didn't say it had to be realistic."

"Okay, I earned that one..."  
___________________________________________________________

The place they had as temporary living quarters was...for lack of better words, huge!

Momentarily forgetting how to act maturely, she ran around to see every corner of the place. It has been...let's say a while since she's gotten out of the house, so this was a completely appropriate reaction.

Peridot returned to the kitchen, pretending like she didn't just run around the place as if she were an excited family pet, declared,"I deem this new place...acceptable."

Garnet had a knowing smirk,"Oh? Just acceptable?"

"Fine...it's fantastic and I wish I agreed to come here years ago when Steven first asked me to."

"Thought so...if you think it's good now, just wait until you see the activity list."

Peridot groaned,"Me and physical exertion? Right."

Garnet patted her back as she walked past,"You'll do great, come on, time to get ready."

"Wait, we're going now? We haven't even unpacked!"

"Steven wanted to get started the moment we could...oh, and since you've never done this before, please listen carefully to the instructor."

Peridot waved her hand dismissively as she scoffed,"Of course I will, how hard could it be anyway?"  
___________________________________________________________

'Okay...I may have jinxed myself...'

Peridot was beginning to regret her own words. She hasn't ever done this, so she had to be separated from Steven and Garnet, who qualify for the more advanced hills. And oh stars, her instructor was...very distracting...

From the way she sauntered up to the front of the small group, to the way she fucking smiled while she introduced herself.

"Hello, my name is Lapis Lazuli, though just call me Lapis. Today I will be showing you some of the basics on the beginners hill..." Hot damn, those eyes were blue, a very deep blue, like the ocean...

She groaned and let her head lull back to glare at the sky,'You up there in the sky, fuck you.'

"Alright, everyone heard? Good, time for your first attempt."

"Huh?" Peridot snapped back into reality, watching as everyone else got into a line of sorts. She quickly got in, but made sure she was last, and contemplating slipping away before it was too late.

But, she didn't want to disappoint her friends, who knows, maybe this would be fine.

"Hey, you in the back."

'Oh shit.'

"Me?"

Lapis looked her up and down with narrowed eyes, but kept a smirk that radiated mischief,"Where's your helmet newbie? Trying to act brave for some friends of yours?"

She wasn't great in social situations, especially with strangers, so instead of the more polite reply she had in her head, what came out was,"Well where's your helmet Lazuli? I could be a master at this already without you knowing."

'Damn it Peridot! Why do you do this to yourself?!'

"Oh? Alright then," she mock bowed, making a sweeping gesture with her hand,"It is your turn short stack, good luck, oh master of the board."

She rolled her eyes at the display, but was internally screaming at herself,"Fuck off." She picked up one from the snowy ground, walking near the area the others slid down to put it on.

"Uh, I wouldn't do that green bean."

She looked up at Lapis, who looked like they were holding in a laugh,"Why not? And don't call me that. It's Peridot." But it was then she felt herself sliding, slowly getting faster, and the last thing she could get out was,"I blame you," before she tumbled down the whole way.

Peridot stopped after what felt like an eternity, and she laid there, covered in snow, and absolutely frustrated.

Of course, moments later, Lapis came down, gliding over the snow as if it was easy as breathing. She twisted to the left so she ended up right beside her,"That newbie, is why I can go without a helmet. Feel like trying again?"

Peridot furiously wiped the snow from her face and hair, face flushed from the cold and embarrassment,"I will conquer this damn hill if it kills me."

Lapis gave a thumbs up,"That's the spirit. I'm gonna call Jasper to take care of these guys, you and me, one on one lessons."

"What am I? Some special case of unskilled?"

"I haven't seen someone wipe out that badly since the last group of 10 year olds I had to help if that answers your question."

"I really hope you trip and land face first into the nearest pile of snow."

"N'aw, seems more like your kind of thing."  
___________________________________________________________

Lapis was having a blast with this group. Particularly Peridot, who managed to find new ways to land on her face with each attempt. She found it cute, and her feistiness just added to it.

Jasper had agreed to trade places for a while, also getting a kick out of the whole thing." Your type is short and angry now huh?" She had asked, watching Peridot making her way back up, tripping a few times along the way.

"I guess so."

The much taller girl crossed her arms, regarding Peridot from her place atop the hill,"From what I've heard you guys say to each other for the past half an hour, I think she may try to choke you the moment you're both completely alone."

Lapis shrugged,"What can I say, I like a challenge."

"If you die, I'm taking the cat."

"Fuck you, Malachite chose me and you've been jealous ever since. If I did die, Steven would get her."

"I'm the one who found her in the first place damn it!"  
___________________________________________________________

Peridot was at a breaking point, at least, it felt like it. She's been up and down this stupid hill and dealing with Lapis's constant, though not entirely on purpose, fucking gorgeously distracting face. She really was trying to listen when Lapis gave tips or showed different positions...

'But that isn't the kind of position you want to see her in.'

And then there was that, her traitorous mind that swan dives into the gutter at the absolute worst times.

She finally got back up the hill, Lapis was talking to one of the other instructors, so she just stood at a polite distance. But she did catch a few sentences.

"She loves me more, so I get her more."

"Oh come on, we hardly have joint custody as is. I have visitation rights!"

"Yeah but you have other rights too, like remaining silent. How about you try it sometime?"

"...I fucking hate you sometimes. Tell Malachite I said hi, I'm gonna make sure these beginners haven't hurt themselves yet."

Peridot was confused,'Joint custody, visitation rights?! Were they divorced or something?!'

Lapis noticed she had come back, but gave Jasper the bird, who also returned the gesture, before coming back over,"Okay, so this is like, the 15th time you've landed on your face so...wanna try again?"

Peridot felt her will to stand almost give at the thought,"No, I'm done...oh, and who was that earlier?"

Lapis was a bit thrown off by that,"Who? Oh, you mean Jasper?"

Peridot nodded,"Yeah, is she your Ex or something? Cause it sounded like it, from what I heard about visitation rights and all..."

For a few seconds, Lapis looked bewildered, and it quickly changed to doubling over with laughter,"N-no! Never, oh god, you actually thought that? She was talking about our cat, Malachite."

It was Peridot's turn to be taken aback,"Your cat?"

Lapis took a second to catch her breath, even wiping a tear from her eye,"Yeah, her name is Malachite. Jasper found her as a kitten and was just jealous she liked my place better."

"Oh...well, now that I'm done humiliating myself, I think I'm just going to go drown myself in hot chocolate..."

"Would you mind if I came too? And maybe pay for it, then ask you about the same time tomorrow also?"

Peridot froze, mechanically turning to face Lapis, who still had that damn smirk, slack jawed,"Did you just me on not one, but TWO dates?"

"Psh, I'm only asking you to get hot chocolate with me now and again, possibly a third time."

Peridot huffed,"You are determined to mess with me aren't you..."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes you distracting Clod."

Hm, what would she tell Steven and Garnet when they realized she dipped out on tomorrow's activities? 'Sorry, I some how seduced a very attractive snowboarding instructor with my face planting abilities and have several hot chocolate dates with them' ?

Eh, maybe that will work. And even though she did suffer...Steven will be spared since it turned out to be in her favor in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wise One Out!

**Author's Note:**

> Wise One Out!


End file.
